A Game Of Hide & Seek
Peter Ghobrial
“Then Jesus told them, 'You are going to have the light just a little while longer. Walk while you have the light, before darkness overtakes you. Whoever walks in the dark does not know where they are going. Believe in the light while you have the light, so that you may become children of light.'” When He had finished speaking, Jesus left and hid Himself from them. (John 12:35-36, NKJV)
When I first read this, I wondered why Jesus hid Himself from the Jews after giving them this message. Doesn't it seem a little weird? Jesus is supposedly the Light He refers to, as we see in many verses, even earlier in John 8:12: “Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, ‘I am the light of the world.’” He is telling the Jews to walk in the Light, which for them might mean something to the effect of "walk with Me"... but then He leaves and hides. This is what confused me initially, so I figured I would find out what more qualified people thought about this.
St. John Chrysostom comments, “The Lord knew how much their hearts were filled with anger and rebellion. He did not wait for that anger to be vented into the sphere of action, but He disappeared to calm their evil.”
That kind of makes more sense because I can understand that reaction. Perhaps one of my least favourite things in this world is when I know something is right, I know I should change my ways, I can see very clearly that the path I have walked and am planning to walk on is in the wrong direction, and some person, whom I didn't ask, comments on my situation: “You know you really should stop XYZ” or “I think it's time that you commit to doing this.” I'm sure I'm not alone in this, but it almost makes me not want to do that thing, even though I know it’s right. That’s pride, I guess – the thinking that I'm above your unrequested, but probably useful, advice. And so, to give the people time to reflect on His words and not just stew over the fact that this guy is telling them what to do, He leaves. What great humility!
I believe that perhaps this is how God handles advising all of us to this day. He tells us what we need to do, where we need to go, then He leaves it up to us to do it and go there. Just imagine you had a priest insisting he go everywhere with you: in the car listening to your playlists, to birthday parties, nights out with your friends, etc. Now, one of two reactions are reasonable to imagine: avoidance or inauthenticity (at least initially), right? It's easy to go to the Mass when you're Abouna's ride, and it's easy to not go to displeasing places when Abouna is walking in next to you – looking all disappointed. This is probably beneficial for all of us, and maybe a good way to start going about things (treating our life as though Abouna is right next to us). The saddest and most embittering thing that we, or at least I, are/am afraid to confront is that the greatest Priest that there will ever be IS with me everywhere I go, in my heart and soul. Aside from that harsh reality, it is perhaps more befitting in the eyes of the Lord that we take responsibility for our search for Him, that we don't rely on external forces or someone to force our hand.
Is this not what is meant by “seeking” the Lord? Seek is a verb; it means to actively search for. And so, in our game of hide and seek with God, we should not be disheartened when He is "hiding" from us, for there is no seeking without hiding. It is His supposed departure which gives us an opportunity to reflect on His teaching, to reflect on the dark path we have stumbled into, and to search for Him. His apparent absence in our lives, when everything piles up on us, is when we appreciate His warmth, care, and mercy.
When I used to play hide and seek with my younger sister, I would always find some new and creative place to hide. Sometimes, 5, 10, or even 15 minutes would go by, and she wouldn't find me. I would hear her walking into the same room multiple times, opening up all sorts of drawers, getting frustrated and desperate as she looked in more and more absurd places. At that point, because I didn't want her to become upset, and because I was sick of hiding, I would cough loudly – giving her all the information she needed to find me, but I would never simply walk out and tell her where I was. I loved the look of surprise and happiness on her face when she finally found me. In the same way, God gives us clues, He whispers to us, He shows us His hand and leads us toward Him. God isn't very good at Hide and Seek. His mercy keeps Him continually in contact with us – the unworthy seekers, and He assures us from the very beginning that “seek, and you will find” (Matthew 7:7, NKJV).
When I first read this, I wondered why Jesus hid Himself from the Jews after giving them this message. Doesn't it seem a little weird? Jesus is supposedly the Light He refers to, as we see in many verses, even earlier in John 8:12: “Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, ‘I am the light of the world.’” He is telling the Jews to walk in the Light, which for them might mean something to the effect of "walk with Me"... but then He leaves and hides. This is what confused me initially, so I figured I would find out what more qualified people thought about this.
St. John Chrysostom comments, “The Lord knew how much their hearts were filled with anger and rebellion. He did not wait for that anger to be vented into the sphere of action, but He disappeared to calm their evil.”
That kind of makes more sense because I can understand that reaction. Perhaps one of my least favourite things in this world is when I know something is right, I know I should change my ways, I can see very clearly that the path I have walked and am planning to walk on is in the wrong direction, and some person, whom I didn't ask, comments on my situation: “You know you really should stop XYZ” or “I think it's time that you commit to doing this.” I'm sure I'm not alone in this, but it almost makes me not want to do that thing, even though I know it’s right. That’s pride, I guess – the thinking that I'm above your unrequested, but probably useful, advice. And so, to give the people time to reflect on His words and not just stew over the fact that this guy is telling them what to do, He leaves. What great humility!
I believe that perhaps this is how God handles advising all of us to this day. He tells us what we need to do, where we need to go, then He leaves it up to us to do it and go there. Just imagine you had a priest insisting he go everywhere with you: in the car listening to your playlists, to birthday parties, nights out with your friends, etc. Now, one of two reactions are reasonable to imagine: avoidance or inauthenticity (at least initially), right? It's easy to go to the Mass when you're Abouna's ride, and it's easy to not go to displeasing places when Abouna is walking in next to you – looking all disappointed. This is probably beneficial for all of us, and maybe a good way to start going about things (treating our life as though Abouna is right next to us). The saddest and most embittering thing that we, or at least I, are/am afraid to confront is that the greatest Priest that there will ever be IS with me everywhere I go, in my heart and soul. Aside from that harsh reality, it is perhaps more befitting in the eyes of the Lord that we take responsibility for our search for Him, that we don't rely on external forces or someone to force our hand.
Is this not what is meant by “seeking” the Lord? Seek is a verb; it means to actively search for. And so, in our game of hide and seek with God, we should not be disheartened when He is "hiding" from us, for there is no seeking without hiding. It is His supposed departure which gives us an opportunity to reflect on His teaching, to reflect on the dark path we have stumbled into, and to search for Him. His apparent absence in our lives, when everything piles up on us, is when we appreciate His warmth, care, and mercy.
When I used to play hide and seek with my younger sister, I would always find some new and creative place to hide. Sometimes, 5, 10, or even 15 minutes would go by, and she wouldn't find me. I would hear her walking into the same room multiple times, opening up all sorts of drawers, getting frustrated and desperate as she looked in more and more absurd places. At that point, because I didn't want her to become upset, and because I was sick of hiding, I would cough loudly – giving her all the information she needed to find me, but I would never simply walk out and tell her where I was. I loved the look of surprise and happiness on her face when she finally found me. In the same way, God gives us clues, He whispers to us, He shows us His hand and leads us toward Him. God isn't very good at Hide and Seek. His mercy keeps Him continually in contact with us – the unworthy seekers, and He assures us from the very beginning that “seek, and you will find” (Matthew 7:7, NKJV).